Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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