We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
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TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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