plz talk dirty to me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
