The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My dick has a subreddit
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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