i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
