i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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