dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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