You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
