Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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