I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize