i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
