ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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