Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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