I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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