Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
