I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
