he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
