I bet he comes in French.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
