i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
