Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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