You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
