Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
