Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
