dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
