fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
