So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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