She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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