YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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