She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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