yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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