I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
