i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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