in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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