Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies