I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.