you guys were way drunker than both of me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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