I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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