At least make sure they are 18
Why
Acid is not a monday night drug
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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