If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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