Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
