id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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