in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
