Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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