Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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