All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
