She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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