sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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