benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
