Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
only you would photoshop your dick
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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