Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Buhtt sex?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
