Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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