he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
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How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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