No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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