so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
