They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
