wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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