Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize