Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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