yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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