Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
